Relationships are built on foundations, and those foundations are made up of the things each person in the relationship brings to the table. We all have our baggage from past experiences, but in order to create the best possibility for a healthy, happy relationship, we want to bring our best selves to the table and show up for ourselves and for our potential mate. Bringing our best selves to a relationship means forgiving ourselves for the mistakes we may have made in previous relationships. If we are harboring blame, regret , or feelings of shame , we sabotage our confidence and our chance of bringing our best selves to a new relationship.
Another way we can regain hope that we will find the relationship we are looking for is to focus on self-care. Self-care starts with taking the time to know who you are and what you like. This may sound easy, but your preferences typically change when you are in a relationship and then change again after a breakup.
There is no magic formula to getting to know yourself again, but taking time out to focus on what is important to you and the activities that make you feel good is the first step to knowing how you can nurture your true self. Building a strong community of support helps us heal.
Cancel Resend Email. It can also feel like our dating culture is increasingly superficial, squashing our dreams of finding meaningful and committed connections. Mental Development Leadership and skills training through active learning. Often we forget how powerful discouragement can be. I was empowered by knowing and understanding what I wanted in my next relationship, and if that one didn't work out I would be even wiser for whomever God intended to be in my life. Hope for Love Critics Consensus No consensus yet.
Seeking the guidance of a compassionate therapist can help you get back on track, regain hope of finding love in the future, and empower you to bring your best self to future relationships. All rights reserved. The preceding article was solely written by the author named above.
Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. I will not give up on finding that love that will last forever. I have been through two divorces but I still have hope that one day I will find my Mr Right! As difficult as it may be there can come a time when you have to take a good long look at yourself and determine what it is that you could be doing to contribute to the situation.
None of us ever really likes to think that this is all our fault, and it never is the fault of only one person, but it does take two to tango, and to not repeat the past, you sort of have to learn to fix what it is that you could be doing wrong on your end. I think that there are times when you find that contentment in yourself then that is when you are then ready to attract someone good into your life.
After a particularly bad break up a few years ago I vowed that I would never let myself be treated that way again nor would I ever let someone else make me feel so worthless again. That was the time when I started working on me in earnest, and doing more of the things that were good for me ad that I actually liked to do. So much happier now than I have ever been.
It just feels like I am freer to do things for me!
But surely you can see how it can be easy to give up on yourself when you feel like someone has given up on you so many times in the past?? Never again.
We are indeed alone in this life. I was so so happy when I thought I had found someone to share my life with but he truly only married me for what he could gain as all he did was fed me lies but I still fell in love and was given an ultimatum by my father to chose between him or the family.
I was so afraid to be abandoned I chose to leave him. It truly was a choice of a rock and a hard place and was totally uncalled for my father to put me in this position. However, the worst is that I was psychologically traumatised and stuck for over two decades and my life has passed me by while my ex has remarried and had kids and built a good career after i supported him to finish his accounting exams. I think my father did more damage then being married to a total narcassist who would lash out when he felt he was losing control over me.
But my life my dreams and my hopes have been destroyed and although I have tried every type of self help book and hours and hours of counselling and therapy I have destroyed my life by listening to my father and fearing the worst. Yes, my ex might have killed me but he is remarried and has two small children so he has not killed them.
I wish families would support and not play power games and they certainly should not meddle in their family members marriages. I have had over 22 years of regret and sadness and grief and it was all so unnecessary. ConnectHope HopeOneSource RecognizeHope Providing leadership training and development to improve outcomes for underprivileged children.
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